Updated: May 19
Week 3 in the Daily Notes Of Encouragement blog series
You have self confidence deep inside you already. All you need to do is remember it, live it, and it will grow.
What is the enemy of self confidence and motivation?
The other "F" word. FEAR
What is it that makes us fearful and resistant to step out and take chances in life?
Sometimes we don’t feel completely Safe
to fully be ourselves,
to be/feel vulnerable in front of other people ( or even in front of ourselves)
to take chances and succeed ... OR
to take chances and fail - forgetting that failure is not failure at all - it's simply a chance we've been given to learn and grow in knowledge and experience.
What if we succeed? What will be expected of us then? Are we afraid that success will lead to more responsibility and accountability? What if we aren't sure we're ready for those things?
These two emotions (fear & perceived lack of safety) can leave us feeling anxious, irritable, unable to move forward, unable to take risks. Fear and our felt sense of safety go hand in hand, feeding off one another.
So what do we do?
We SQUASH our fears so that we can move forward in life - giving us FREEDOM to live a more peaceful existence. The more safe we feel in general, the more natural it will become for us to be less fearful in everyday situations. Easier said than done right? How do we squash our fears? There are many ways, and here are a few ways that have helped me:
The First step in conquering our fears
Take a slow, deep breath. Just one deep & slow breath can take us down a notch. Through silent or guided meditations we can learn how to use our breath to keep us anchored in the present moment, which will keep us from engaging too deep in fearful, anxious thoughts and emotions. If you don't have time for a full meditation, then take a few deep breaths and concentrate on the air as it flows in and out ... the sound of it, the feel of it. Feel the sensation of your abdomen as you inhale and exhale. Doing this for a few seconds can calm the nervous system down greatly.
HONESTLY ask the questions of ourselves : “Why do I not feel safe?” “What am I afraid of?” We need to be very upfront and open with ourselves when we ask these questions in order to conquer them. It can be extremely uncomfortable to be 100% truthful and honest with ourselves sometimes. Is it a fear of the unknown - That deep abyss of "not knowing" and uncharted territory that comes after we take an honest inventory of the answers we seek? The inability to control our fate and the fate of our loved ones? The element of surprise and the uncharted waters can be uncomfortable to come face-to-face with. With that being acknowledged, we HAVE to be REAL with our answers IF we want to MOVE PAST them, onto enjoyment and peace during our time on this earth.
The 2nd step in conquering our fears
Deepen our Awareness. There are many ways to do this, through seated meditation, yoga nidra, walking meditation, focused activities such as playing an instrument or participating in a form of single-pointed exercise. Yoga Nidra meditation is a great way to do this because it takes you on a layered journey - first relaxing our physical bodies so that we can then easier relax our mind. When we’re able to be relaxed in body and mind, we are able to more easily see our “True Self” without judgements. It is here where we start to heal & grow on a deeper, more subtle level. We remember what it is to feel safe. Safety is KEY in conquering fear.
The 3rd step in conquering our fears
Write out/plan out how to address the answers we got in the 1st step. "What can I do, realistically, today to address this issue?"
Starting small in the beginning ensures a sense of safety, which leads to a sense of success and improved confidence along the way. Small steps and small goals each day will lead to bigger and bigger steps naturally. Before you know it, you'll have succeeded in answering those hard and honest questions - moving forward and not remaining stagnant.
These steps will help ease you back into more focused and more strenuous activities with improved confidence and motivation. Once you feel safe, have more confidence and
motivation, it will be easier to take chances, get out the door to work or school, start new projects/activities, go places, meet people.
Here is this week's Printable PDF ... print as many as you need and place one in your car, on your desk, on your fridge - wherever you may need a reminder.
This week's guided meditation links via InsightTimer:
Motivation & Confidence - A yoga nidra practice
On The Road To Increased Confidence
Video: Mindful Deep Belly Breathing With Biofeedback